Courtney Pochin
Published November 23, 2025 2:00pm
Share this article via whatsappShare this article via xCopy the link to this article.Link is copiedShare this article via facebook
Comment now
Comments
Parents are now letting their kids take ‘duvet days’ in the name of mental health (Picture: Getty Images)
For years, hitting 100% attendance was something schoolchildren were told to aspire to, with parents and teachers keeping close tabs on sick days.
But post-Covid, there seems to have been a shift in the way mums and dads are thinking about time off, and many parents are now allowing their kids to take ‘duvet days’ in the name of mental health.
New research has revealed three quarters of parents (75%) have let their kids to miss school because they were feeling emotional, tired, or simply didn’t want to go.
Among the 2,000 parents surveyed by Perspectus (on behalf of education event Bett), 40% said they were fine with their children having more than one duvet day, while the average number taken over the last year was six.
Many claimed these days off had improved the behaviour of their kids – something mum-of-three Melissa Sagir Amos has noticed first-hand.
According to the soul mentor and spiritual psychotherapist from Hertfordshire, not only does this help build her little ones’ sense of ‘autonomy’, they’re ‘happier’ and complain less when they have the choice to stay home.
The main reasons parents cited for letting kids have time off school was because the child felt tired or emotional (Picture: Getty Images)
‘It’s something I feel quite strongly about because of my work,’ Melissa tells Metro.
‘‘I help people with their mental health and spiritual development and kids don’t really get that same kind of support.
‘Children have things thrown on them everyday – they’re told where to be and what to wear and what to do all of the time and sometimes they just want to have a day with their mum or a day when they just don’t want to be at school.’
In her view, it’s important to let kids ‘know they have choices and that they can listen to their body and not rush around.’
‘Sometimes we just want to stay in bed and cancel all our plans, and sometimes they want to do the same,’ Melissa adds.
Melissa lets her children take a day off each term (Picture: Becky Wright photography)
The 44-year-old has two children in primary school, and one in high school, and says her eldest doesn’t feel the need to take days off, but her younger ones do.
But while she’s willing to let them choose to a point, she does have some rules about it.
Melissa explains: ‘It’s not every week, it’s maybe once a term that they take a day off. I’m quite firm on it, so they know they can’t take advantage.
‘It’s important to me that their attendance stays up, but as they’re never late and they’re rarely off sick, I feel like they should be rewarded for that and they are aware that it’s a priviledge.’
The rules about school attendance
Regardless of your own thoughts on ‘duvet days’ for children, it’s worth making sure you won’t get into trouble for allowing them.
While the exact rules can differ between schools or local districts, the UK Government states: ‘You can only allow your child to miss school if either you have advance permission from the school or they’re too ill to go in.’
Its website adds: ‘There may be other exceptional circumstances where you can ask to take your child out of school. Your school will consider each application and may let you take your child out of school. ‘
Councils and schools can use various legal powers if your child is missing school without a good reason, with penalties ranging from fines to parenting classic. If you’re taken to court for repeated unauthorised absence, tou could get a fine of up to £2,500, a community order or a jail sentence up to three months.
When it comes to the school, Melissa says she doesn’t lie to teachers about why her kids aren’t at their desks.
‘I don’t pretend that they’re sick, I just say they’re feeling under the weather and need to be at home that day, which is true,’ she says. ‘They’re not feeling like coming in.’
As for how they spend these days off, sitting glued to their tablets all day watching YouTube is a no-no. Instead, Melissa tries to do something with the children, like watching a movie, getting outside for a walk, or grabbing lunch.
‘I ask them what they want to do, as I want them to feel like they’ve got some control over their life,’ she says.
‘They’re happier having that choice and it’s stopped the constant battles every morning – I’ve noticed my son now skips into the kitchen after a day off and there’s no moaning about school.’
Becky was worried her daughter would ‘crash and burn’ without time off during her A-Levels (Picture: Becky Goddard-Hill)
Becky Goddard-Hill also allowed her daughter to take time off school as needed while she was doing her A-Levels.
When she saw her teen struggling with stress, the mum, from Nottingham, advised her to spend the day in bed watching TV, doing ‘absolutely nothing’ to recuperate.
‘The first time she took a duvet day, it was my suggestion,’ Becky tells Metro. ‘I felt she really needed it as school is really stressful for kids and I didn’t want her to crash and burn.’
She continues: ‘Loads of businesses give their staff wellbeing days now and mental health is seen to be just as important as physical health.
‘When kids are doing exams, there’s so much pressure, they don’t have space to breathe or think.’
Exams can put students under a lot of pressure (Picture: Getty Images)
Becky says she’s a firm believer in ‘resilience’ and people doing tough things, but still believes it’s important for parents to let their children rest.
Still, she does have one caveat for other mums and dads thinking of doing the same: communicate.
‘Before I agreed to let my daughter have any other days off, I checked that there wasn’t another reason she didn’t want to be at school,’ says the 54-year-old.
‘You need to make sure they’re not scared and avoiding a bigger problem, like bullying or falling behind on work, because if they are you could end up with a pattern of them refusing to go to school.
‘For my daughter, it was more that she was exhausted and overwhelmed, she just needed to rest.’
What does an expert think?
MBACP counsellor and the founder of TherapEast, Katie Rose, wants to remind parents that school is a ‘really good’ place for kids to be.
‘School gives children a routine and socialisation,’ she tells Metro. ‘They also have the opportunity to learn new things, and it serves as a distraction from all the other stuff they spend time doing, like looking at social media.’
However, the expert does agree with both mums that a break can be ‘really important’ when they’re overwhelmed.
She explains: ‘We put so much pressure on them with exams, revision, attending every lesson and behaving well, so it’s understandable that it can become too much.’
‘If you give them one day off, they are more likely to be able to engage the rest of the time.’
Comment now Do you think children should be allowed mental health days off from school?Comment NowKatie warns too, that structure is crucial for the duvet day, stressing that kids use their time well rather than just rotting in bed and doomscrolling.
‘Make sure they know that they can have a certain number of duvet days every term and that they’re using those days well,’ she says.
More Trending
-
My wife blames her one-night stand on me — but I want to stay married
Channel: Sex Sex 20 hours ago By Charlie Sawyer - My pupils were afraid to raise their hands - I had to act
- Hunt for serial flasher after man strikes multiple times near secondary school
- England's top area for high-performing schools revealed — and it’s in London
‘They need to relax, eat well, and sleep well, not be endlessly on phones and showing off to their friends that they didn’t come into school. That creates the wrong environment.
‘Instead we need to say to children that they can have the day off, but it’s about rest and recovery.’
And before you tell your children they can have the extra time off, be sure to really think things through.
‘Don’t just say yes out of desperation and exhaustion as a parent,’ adds Katie. ‘This is about your relationship with your child. You need to come up with a proper strategy for this to show them you are able to help manage their mental health.’
Do you have a story to share?
Get in touch by emailing [email protected].
Arrow MORE: I suppressed my condition – then everything went wrong
Arrow MORE: My pupils were afraid to raise their hands – I had to act
Arrow MORE: Hunt for serial flasher after man strikes multiple times near secondary school
Comment now Comments Add Metro as a Preferred Source on Google Add as preferred source Degrees of SeparationJoin us each week as hear from the people going through familial estrangement, for worse and for better.
Email I agree to receive newsletters from Metro I agree to receive newsletters from Metro Sign UpSign UpThis site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. Your information will be used in line with our Privacy Policy
